3. CONSCIOUSLY MANIFESTING THE RELATIONSHIP YOU DESIRE

CONSCIOUSLY MANIFESTING THE RELATIONSHIP YOU DESIRE
In the first blog post (https://thecouplescoach.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/1-how-your-definition-of-abundance-can-enrich-your-relationship/) and second blog post (https://thecouplescoach.wordpress.com/2014/06/19/how-to-build-an-abundant-relationship/) you explored what Abundance means to you and wrote down your definition of Abundance as well as your definition of an Abundant Relationship.
We ended the session by looking at how important our intentions and desires are.

I shared with you that my heart’s deepest desires had been answered – every single desire that I had written in my letter to God / the Universe with regards to the relationship that I longed for and dreamed about had been fulfilled.

Your dreams, desires and intentions are incredibly powerful. You are a co-creator with the Universe. Tell the Universe what you desire, state your intention, put it out there. You will be amazed at how the Universe / God will manifest your desires. The Universe will work with you to give you the relationship that you long for.
The fact is, if you don’t know what you want and expect from your relationship, then how do you expect the Universe to manifest it? That is why it is so important to get clear on what you want, what your relationship goals are, what you desire.

One of the reasons that it is so important to know what you desire for your relationship, is that it is so easy to get caught up in the daily grind that, before you know it, life becomes routine and boring and you can get stuck in a relationship rut.
Just think about how much time you spend doing the things that have to get done (going to work, cooking, cleaning, sorting out pets and/or children, dealing with things or issues that can take up so much time and energy). Before you know it, your partner just becomes another issue that you have to deal with! It honestly doesn’t have to be that way.

Getting stuck in a relationship rut can be draining and demoralizing and is extremely unabundant. Before you know it, you are back in a scarcity mindset and find that you never have enough time, are always busy, feeling tired and lethargic, moody and impatient and the last thing you feel like doing is being emotionally available for someone else.

When you know what you truly desire (for your relationship and your life) even the day to day dealing with stuff becomes more manageable. You have more drive and energy to deal with the routine and the mundane because you know what you are wanting out of life; you know that you are co-creating the life and relationship that you desire.

Let’s explore DESIRE in more detail. What is a desire? What do we mean when we talk about desire?
Let me start by saying that there is a difference between a Goal and a Desire. A goal is something that you think you can strive toward and reach. It appeals to your cognitive, rational thinking. It can be measureable and achievable and works on a linear basis from point A to B. A goal is something you work hard for and unfortunately often leaves you feeling like you are never going to get there. It can leave you feeling like a failure and judged. We tap into our ‘masculine energy’ when we think in terms of goals.

A desire is very different from a goal
Desire connects you to your longing. It connects you to that part of you that will do pretty much anything to get what you desire.
Mama Gena explains it this way, “A desire propels you, lures you, invites you, beckons you into your perfect “what’s next” Desire is where the Divine lives, inside the inspiration of your desire.’
Desire is far more emotional than ‘goal’ – goal is rational. Goal may take you a step closer to where you want to go (it is transitional) but desire somehow works with the Universe / the Divine to manifest your dreams and longings (it is transformational!)
We tap into our ‘feminine energy’ when we think in terms of desires.

What I’d like you to do is go back to your definition of an abundant relationship list and take a couple of minutes to think about what you desire for your relationship. Get real, get honest and allow yourself to dream. Then, write down between 5 and 10 things (from your list or others, if you’ve come up with new ones) that you desire for your relationship. I want you to write them down in the present tense. Write them down as Power Statements.

ABUNDANT RELATIONSHIP POWER STATEMENTS

1. I am honest and trustworthy and refuse to lie to my partner.
2. I love my partner and treat him/her with respect.
3. I set quality time aside for my partner for sexual intimacy.
4. I enjoy my partner’s company and look forward to spending time together.
5. I share the household chores and help out as much as I can.
6. I communicate my thoughts and feelings with my partner.
7. I listen (am fully present) when my partner is talking to me.
8. I am great at resolving conflict and taking responsibility when I upset my partner.
9. I don’t shift the blame, I do not hold grudges. I forgive easily.
10. I put my partner’s needs before my own.
11. I am generous and giving.
12. I am patient and kind.
13. I appreciate my partner and do not take him/her for granted.
14. I am able to share my needs with my partner in a pro-active way.
15. I accept my partner for who he/she is. I do not try and change him/her.
16. I can be vulnerable and share my dreams and desires with my partner.
17. I am able to share my fears and concerns with my partner.
18. I do not judge or criticize my partner, nor do I belittle him/her.
19. I know when to give my partner ‘space’.
20. I can share my beliefs/spirituality with my partner.

You will be using the list that you have made for our next session and in the weeks to come, so keep it safe.
I would like to end this session with this thought – you cannot change your partner, you can only change yourself.