A LOVING RELATIONSHIP
A loving relationship is a wonderful thing. It fills your life with meaning, with purpose, with joy and passion. To be in love adds a different feel to each day because each new day creates a new expectation, a new adventure, a new opportunity to share your lives together.
So, when our partner leaves, whether by making a decision to terminate the relationship or due to death,we feel as though part of us has been torn out of our bodies. We use the phrase “our other half” so it is hardly surprising that we feel incomplete when half of us is gone.
Those of you who have lost a loving partner will agree with me when I say that often we don’t know what we have until it is gone. It is amazing how often people will say “If I had my time over, I would do things so differently.”
I lost my first wife, Jenny, to cancer when I was 49 years old. After a 30 year relationship, I felt like I was the one who had died.
After a while, all the regrets came but, eventually, I made peace with myself and the past. The regrets I converted into lessons for the future.
My loving relationship with Laurene is different. In our 13 years together, the “regret” lessons that I learned have made it different.
So here are some of those lessons:
1. Don’t just be in love. Be friends. Do things that friends do. Have fun like friends have fun. Didn’t you have fun when you met? Why stop?
2. The best way to have a good relationship, is to spend time together. I don’t mean being in the same home. I mean being in each others company, doing things together, talking to each other.
3. Make your partner your top priority. When he/she needs your help, that comes first. Excuse yourself from the meeting, from the golf game, change your appointment, switch off the TV and be there for your partner. Very soon, making your partner No 1 will result in you becoming their No 1.
4. Listen to your partner. I don’t mean while you are watching TV or eating or reading the newspaper. I mean sitting opposite each other, making eye contact and listening without interruptions.
5. Tell your partner every day that you love them. Otherwise, how will they know how you feel? You need to reinforce the safety and confidence that they can experience in your relationship.
There is no recipe for the perfect loving relationship. It requires work and sometimes sacrifices. Be kind to each other and yourself.
Keep loving.
Andre
The Couples Coach 
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